If there was one sport France would surely win gold this summer, it’s the art of complaining (râler). A national pastime, few emphatic ooh la’s they are not necessarily a sign of displeasure, they are just French culture, it is the same way for us to queue or comment on the weather.
Not without reason, Brits have a certain reputation abroad. Although there is no French equivalent to Benidorm, the contrasting pairing of British holiday behavior and French complaint means there are plenty of ways you can set foot there.
I have lived here for three years, and during that time I have done more faux pas than a politician during a live debate, and I’ve learned a few simple ways to keep the peace. Remember the most important rule of all: never criticize French cuisine.
In the restaurant – respect the menu
It’s amazing how much you feel in France because of your mealtime manners. One thing that is sure to win you brownie points is arguing with the menu. In the UK, we regularly pick a menu like a poorly made argument, trying as many variations as we can – gluten-free, lactose-free, vegetarian, vegan, mushroom-free just because. In a French restaurant, the menu du jour there is often just one choice of starter, main and dessert, especially at lunchtime. If you ask for the gluten free, vegan and mushroom version of the meal, you will not be popular.
That said, France is adapting more to the times and meeting different dietary needs. But still book your restaurant a few days before, and let them know what you won’t eat at the time of booking. (Disclaimer: gluten-free vegans will still struggle almost anywhere in France.)
At the bar – don’t shout
How you drink is the single factor that can make or break your reputation as a Brit. We fall against certain stereotypes: the British drink early, don’t eat at the same time, and they can’t handle their drinking, and as a result they become obscenely LOUD. In France, people don’t usually call their conversations across the bar, even after multiple drinks. You will benefit from your “inner voice” a lot.
At the museum – don’t be an awkward Instagrammer
Although France was the country where BeReal was invented, social media is not as ubiquitous there as it is in the UK. There are about seven million fewer Instagram users for a roughly the same size population. That means what you’ve done isn’t eating your food in a restaurant while it’s cold, or going live on TikTok while exploring the Musée d’Orsay. Taking some photos is fine, but there is a time and a place.
On the street – expect to be judged for your appearance
Having grown up in the United Kingdom, I am of the opinion that people should express themselves and wear what they want, but you will consider your fashion choices in France. Recently, comedian Tatty Macleod made a great video about the different reactions to her pink hair in France and the UK. In the UK, people have come to the conclusion that she may be left-wing and a vegetarian. In France, they simply assumed she was mad.
Wearing athleisure gear anywhere except the gym is frowned upon. Many people don’t even wear sportswear for cycling, other than head-to-toe Lycra shoes and shorts when you have a road bike to match the image. Even worse than your gym equipment, at least in the eyes of the older generation, is scantily clad, and if you’re wearing hot pants or a low-cut top it’s not uncommon for people, especially older women, to make comments. while you’re out and about.
Paradoxically, most swimming pools have mandatory rapids, and you may not be allowed to wear swimming shorts. It is also quite acceptable to go without a bra, even if your nipples are showing through your top. You won’t be judged as harshly for this as you would for showing too much cleavage.
Always – watch your language
More than anything else, even more than showing great appreciation for French cuisine, some French goes a long way. Even garbled merci beaucoup Thank you is much more than a loud “ta” as you go on your way. Bonus points if you try to buy your museum entry tickets in French, even though you’ll find that the attendant probably speaks to you in English.
I will always remember my father ordering stubbornly jus de pomme de terre on a family holiday in Brittany. He wanted apple juice (Pomme juice), but they kept asking for potato juice instead. Far from being judgmental, he was a people pleaser. If you can laugh at the mistakes you make, you’re less likely to offend than by continuing to speak English and turning up the volume every time someone doesn’t understand you.
Even in the current political climate, when a third of voters backed the notoriously anti-foreign National Rally, British tourists are largely welcomed with open arms in France. There have been no instances of tourists chasing water pistols here yet.
Just remember the golden rules: indoor voice, their art is the best in the world, and et merci beaucoup, other than thank you very much. With a British accent, beaucoup merci often sounds like merci beau cul (thank you beautiful butt) which will give you another reason to smile with the people you meet.
One conversation topic to avoid
Since we have more types of cheese in the UK than in France. This is a topic guaranteed to start a heated debate.
Order the dish that won the hearts of the locals
The set menu for lunch – no changes.