Sitting in the back of a 4×4 Landcruiser, watching wildlife documentaries unfold in real time, it’s easy to get complacent on safari. Scenes sparkle with a Disney-like glaze when viewed from the cosseted safety of a tourist vehicle. But take one step further firm terraand very quickly the mood can change.
Last week, another tourist made the mistake of leaving his car to approach a herd of elephants on a self-drive trip to South Africa’s Pilanesberg National Park. A close-up photo cost the Spanish traveler his life.
Of course, for the most part, going on safari is a safe and peaceful activity. But it is important to remember that these are wild animals that are afraid of humans. And there are always potential dangers where you least expect it.
Everyone has a tall tale to tell, as they discuss the campfire. We’ve busted a few myths and uncovered some realities to prove that every bush holiday has a surprise (pleasant or otherwise).
The most dangerous animal is not a lion
The title of biggest bush killer is contested, as they alternate between carnivorous predators and giant herbivores who prefer to crush the unfit with their feet. But apart from the Tsavo Man-Eaters – who got a taste for human blood during the construction of the Kenya-Uganda railway at the end of the 19th century – the lions are not the first spot.
Living under rotten logs and in long grass, snakes are responsible for up to 32,000 deaths in sub-Saharan Africa each year. But there is no doubt that the number one enemy is the malaria-carrying mosquito, which kills hundreds of thousands of people in Africa every year.
It’s the smallest things that cause the biggest problems
Do not be deceived by size. In the natural world, creatures smaller than a miniature can do more damage than a two-ton beast. Every African aficionado has a horror story to share about safari ants – or siafu – a sharp threat capable of throwing bodies from head to toe.
Their jaws are so strong that they are sometimes used as staples for surgical removal. My favorite story is the lodge manager’s wife who woke up in the night to find herself covered in insects. When she was panicking, she ran outside into the arms of a Maasai askari, who quickly went into the pool to disperse the siafu. When her husband arrived to find his half-naked screams with the staff, ants were the last thing on his mind.
Nothing comes between a hippopotamus and water
More sumo than svelte, the biggest in Africa blubbernaut far from agile – except when it comes to racing home. Matching the speed of a professional athlete, a hippopotamus will run at a speed of 32kph (20mph) to reach the chosen pond, lake or river after a night of grazing on land. No obstacle – human or otherwise – will break their path. As an additional deterrent to any obstacles is a set of 50cm rabbits, and powerful bellied males have evolved retractable and highly mobile testicles to avoid being ripped off by an attacker in a fight.
A herd of buffalo is (relatively) harmless – except they are a threat
Blind panic can be dangerous – especially when it involves a 1.5 tonne animal. Although they are some of the toughest brutes in the bush, buffalo still feel vulnerable when traveling alone. And with a pea brain accounting for only 0.12 percent of their body weight, they tend to act on impulse rather than intellect. Old, cantankerous and cast out of the herd, “retired generals” are the ones to worry about the most. Fearing the worst, they take no prisoners and are regarded by guides as “the least animal you want to bump into in the night”.
A big mama is scarier than a male
Don’t be fooled by Jon Bon Jovi’s manes and rock ‘n’ roll roars, lions are pine cats compared to their better halves. The females engineer most of the hunts with pride, and they do so with a mixture of talk and patience. But when it comes to protecting the young, every female in the animal kingdom will fight to the bloody end. Even placing a step between a young person and their parent is seen as a threat. After all, a mother’s love knows no bounds.
It is dangerous to be downwind from an animal
Along with a loaded rifle, seasoned walking safari guides always carry a pouch filled with ash, a simple tool for determining wind direction that can ultimately save lives. Many large animals – including elephants and rhinos – rely heavily on their sense of smell, picking up any scent carried by the wind. So, by staying downwind (and not being seen), it’s possible to get within a few knee-knocking meters of a megaphone without them even knowing you’re there. It is very rare, however, that a change of wind will work in your olfactory favor – as anyone who has ever been in close range of a rotten lion can.
An elephant does not forgive or forget
Having the largest brain of any land mammal, elephants are intelligent and emotional. A sharp memory is used to retrace migration routes to watering holes, but it is also a very useful tool for separating friends from enemies. Years ago, on safari in Zimbabwe’s Gonarezhou National Park, I was chased by a large bull, which had the intelligence to cut short and block our path. His hatred of humans probably stemmed from years of violent civil war. But his anger was also directed at our particular vehicle (which he repeatedly sensed from the crowd). No one was ever clear about what happened, but the male only mentioned when he was sold and replaced.
Bites are much worse than those that do not bark or grow
Lions roar, wild dogs yap and leopards give the game away with the grunt of a chainsaw. But the stealthiest killers are silent until the moment their jaws are closed. Gliding through shallow waters, Nile crocodiles can remain motionless, breathless, for up to an hour. Rough scales across their backs also create a low-pressure region, allowing them to reach the surface without even a ripple. These combined talents make for a formidable ambush for the prehistoric reptiles, and with a bite pressure of up to 5,000 psi (compared to a pathetic 160 psi for humans) they are unlikely to escape.