by I’m a bubbly girl – and I’m not talking about my personality. My nickname says it all: Champagne Jane. I like my fizz, as well as red wine in the winter, rosé when it’s warm, and Baileys whenever I want.
The trouble is that, like many others, I drink too much of the stuff. It’s a crutch when I have a hard day, a celebration after a good one. And nothing says “you’re on vacation” to me more than the clink of a champagne glass. I have endured several Dry Januarys, counting every crawling minute of the worst months until I could raise a glass to February. The thing is, I don’t want to give up for good. I just want a cut – a story as old as today.
So when I heard about NoLo’s new alcohol break designed to help you do just that at Wye Valley Tudor Farm, I made the 3.5 hour drive from my home in Essex to find out more. Idiocy on the motorway and a good half hour of narrow roads in the dark later I was more than ready for a few firesides before dinner in the cozy sitting room of Tudor Farmhouse.
I looked at the extensive list of non-alcoholic cocktails skeptically; My experience with anything masquerading as alcohol up to this point has not been good. NoGroni looked smart, but considering I’m not a fan of real negronis, it didn’t start. Then the French 75 caught my eye, a mixture of non-alcoholic sparkling wine and gin, plus sugar syrup.
The pop of the cork from Noughty’s non-alcoholic sparkling wine was like a balm to my frazzled spirit – and it tasted good too. Even though I knew there wasn’t a drop of alcohol, I started to relax.
The wine at dinner was also a revelation. Encouraged by the menu’s advice “if you only try one de-alcoholic wine during your visit, make it this one”, I ordered a bottle of the Oddbird GSM 0.5 percent (grenache, syrah, mourvèdre). “Would you like to try your wine?” asked the waiter as I sat in the beamed dining room. Yes I would, I thought, trying not to remember all those non-alcoholic reds that taste unpleasantly like grape juice.
But this wine smells and tastes surprisingly like it too, but without opening up when you shake it in the glass, or with the long aftertaste. I could tell for sure it wasn’t real, but it was pretty good nonetheless. In addition, it complemented the excellent food, pairing nicely with a starter of mushroom risotto, cod with herb main screw, and particularly well with the cheese board, especially the double Gloucester.
I’ve always found it hard to eat a slap-up meal without alcohol (I went through an 11-course tasting menu in Saudi Arabia without a drop of it) but I was able to sip this “wine” between bites. he did not feel deprived. Furthermore, a 175ml glass contained just 36 calories compared to around 147 for the real deal.
There was just one rub: the £43 price. “It’s a really good wine that goes through an extra process to de-alcoholic it and because it’s not mass produced the price reflects that,” said Colin Fell, who runs Tudor Farmhouse with his wife, Hari. “There’s a lot of rubbish out there – we tasted a lot before we chose this one.”
Hari’s own experience of giving up alcohol inspired the couple to set up NoLo Cocktails, which they sell on a donation box basis and in the restaurant. “I quit drinking in April 2019 for a month, but I felt so much better that I quit for a year – and I’m now a non-drinker,” said Hari. “Demand for non-alcoholic beverages has increased dramatically, which is why we’ve introduced the NoLo break this year.”
As part of the package, they recommend walks where you can get back to nature and embrace your better self in the Wye Valley and Forest of Dean. You can also enjoy wellness experiences, whether you prefer a massage in the hotel’s shepherd’s hut spa or a nearby saltwater floatation experience. At Forest Float, I sealed myself in my personal pod and floated silently on salt water in the dark for an hour (you can also choose from different colored lights).
Swimming appears to help with relaxation, improved circulation, lower blood pressure and mental clarity, and the Forest Float website also claims that it “gives you an opportunity to give up your addictions”.
I can’t vouch for that but I felt very uplifted after my session, before I went on another forest swimming quest in the Forest of Dean. I definitely had a spring in my step on the three hour circuit at Mallards Pike, which I finished with an hour to spare.
A shorter 1.2 mile fitness trail is available at Symonds Yat Rock, a 10-minute drive from the hotel, where I saw deer bordering the trees and enjoyed the stunning view of the River Wye opening out of view.
Back at base, another great dinner awaited (along with the discovery that low-alcohol wine doesn’t keep overnight as well as its alcoholic sister). However, I polished off the bottle, taking the last glass back to my room.
While each room in the farmhouse has unique features, such as sloping ceilings or statement headboards, my master suite came with a knockout bathroom with a roll top tub perfectly positioned under a skylight. Lying in the tub, glass in hand, I was looking out at the studded night sky as an owl ran hooted its evening song, resolved to change my drinking habits for good.
This is definitely a break worth raising a glass to – as long as your glass is filled with the non-alcoholic stuff.
Fundamentals
Jane Knight traveled as a guest at Tudor Farmhouse (01594 833046; tudorfarmhousehotel.co.uk), which is offering NoLo breaks until the end of February from £520 for two nights for two, including a mocktail each evening , one bottle of non-alcoholic wine, and a box of NoLo cocktails to take home. Float in the Forest (floatintheforest.co.uk) offers one-hour floats for £55.
