by Patrick, I don’t pretend to understand the arcane machinations behind my TikTok algorithm, but lately it’s been delivering me video after video of people navigating the world on a nine-month cruise. They are all on the same journey and have the same quiet desperation behind every empty sight. What’s going on?
What’s happening, Michael, is essentially a social experiment broadcast in real time, and some of us can’t get enough of it.
The Royal Caribbean Ultimate World Cruise is a nine-month cruise on a ship called Serenade of the Seas, which aims to travel to more than 60 countries across seven continents – and is advertised as the world’s longest cruise. We don’t know the official number of passengers on board, although a TikToker reports that there are around 1,000. Most are normal cruise types, but some started documenting it on TikTok – basically just explaining what they do in a day, and showing their viewers the rooms, the meals, the other passengers – and in despite that it sounds like the worst reality TV base for you. ‘ Never heard, it started to go mega viral.
Two months on and we now have a boatload of influencers trapped together on the high seas: a place famous for driving people crazy and chasing sex whales. Not much has actually happened yet, but it’s a perfect recipe for disaster; guarantee of terrible seas.
How did this start? And who are the main characters?
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Like most things on TikTok (Bama Rush, sea shanties) we’ll never know the exact science behind how it became such a huge phenomenon – but @angielinderman was one of the first passenger who went viral, posted a video explaining that she decided to join the cruise after her parents died of cancer. She also discovered she had an elevated risk of cancer, she says, so she spent her inheritance on a cruise ticket. She now has nearly 180,000 followers.
Most of the content is style-of-the-day videos and ads, like the TikToks made by sisters @swankalamode and @iambrandeelake (who have close to 300,000 followers between them) as well as South African creator @ amike_oosthuizen (275,000 followers) , who was already an influencer before the cruise. There’s also @little_rat_brain (139,000 followers), an anonymous passenger who does short comedy sketches on board, as well as smaller accounts like @singing.sailor, a crew member who works as a performer and posts to his 7,000 followers.
Being aboard a boat for nine months is an ancient punishment. But people are really paying for this right?
Yes, and it is NOT CHEAP. People can choose to join any part of the tour, or stay for the whole thing; the cheapest option for all nine months starts at $US59,999 per person – and goes all the way up to $US117,999. One couple, who describe themselves as a “cruise mom and dad”, created an account while on board called @SpendingOurKidsMoney. They have accumulated close to 90,000 followers.
But the interesting thing is how … janky it all looks. Many facilities are being given a university dorm common room. In fact, after the cruise started blowing up, TikTok influencer Marc Sebastian begged to be put on board, and eventually a publishing company sponsored him to continue for 18 nights. a review? “I hate it here.”
He captioned a video of his room tour writing: “For 18 nights? fine But for 9 months? Can’t make a baby.”
He also claimed that the showers are small with inconsistent hot water, the tours to see penguins are often cancelled, and there is music everywhere, all the time. Nightmare.
So to reiterate: right now there is a dubious melange on board of rich old marketers, digital nomads, and influencers, which is almost exactly the plot of the Triangle of Sorrows. Has there been any actual drama so far?
No, but everyone is prepared for it. It’s like we’re in the opening scenes of a disaster movie right now, where everyone is still bright and happy, we’re meeting all the characters, and scientists keep finding strange things that no one is paying attention to .
However, we’ve had a lot of gossip that could turn into real drama – one account claimed that a passenger has Covid and is actually hiding, which could be another Ruby Princess-style plague vessel as a result.
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Another recent video has shared a rumor that the cruise may be ending much earlier than expected, due to conflicts in the Middle East – however a Royal Caribbean representative confirmed that the plan is to continue with the trip as scheduled.
Of course, the lack of anything big happening hasn’t stopped a whole ecosystem of gossip, commentary and criticism from marooned TikTok users on the ground. The people on board have become characters in a soap opera, while those watching write the stories.
It feels a lot like going halfway through a season of Real Housewives when nothing is happening but everyone is talking in pointed whispers as if something is happening. Why are we still so invested?
I think it’s a combination of factors. There’s something really intoxicating about watching rich people eat it while trapped on big boats – think Below Deck and Triantán na Brón – and big boats themselves are the main characters after the Covid trips and that one that got stuck.
Plus, people are sick of how curated reality TV is produced these days, and there could be real chaos on this tour. It’s like putting a bunch of bats and spiders and eggs and fireworks in a box and shaking it up. Something will happen. And we will be watching.
