by “It’s an architectural marvel. Every town should have one.”
Bartender Tony Fletcher heaps more coal on the fire in the Dewdrop Inn, a “proper” boozer with carpeted floors and Scotch eggs on the menu.
He’s talking about Ilkeston’s top tourist attraction, and recent winner of TripAdvisor’s Travelers Choice award: hole-in-the-wall NatWest on the high street.
To the casual observer, the town’s famous money point looks like no other. But it’s not the anonymous ATM that excites keyboard warriors, but the hole in the brick wall next to it.
“Carbon dating identifies the structure as Roman and an ancient text indicates that the place was used for pilgrimage and ritual sacrifice,” Nathwiggum wrote in much more recent reviews.
All nonsense of course. The structure has been there since the 1970s, and while no one can say for sure how the hole came about, one theory remains.
“As far as I know, you can see if there’s anyone hiding behind the wall when you’re getting money out,” a local man, who wishes to remain anonymous, tells me outside NatWest.
Depending on who you talk to, the silver point’s status as Ilkeston’s top attraction is either a great example of local humor, or a reflection of the decline of a once-thriving town. Or both.
“We’re very sorry here,” cries Kathryn Gill, who is crouching next to the cash. “I’ve lived here all my life. I am 61. Years ago, it was successful. We have no industry now. We had pits, we had textiles, we had factories, it’s gone now. And the shops are closed, everything is online.”
Ilkeston High Street has all the familiar markers of a forgotten manufacturing town: crumbling Victorian facades, empty shops, market stalls, hooded youths on e-scooters, grumpy old people on mobility scooters. Ironically, even the ATM is out of order during my visit.
It was never meant to be this way. Ilkeston was supposed to be “the next Buxton”, but its natural springs ran dry in the mid-1800s, some claim after miners caved in nearby pits.
More calculated was Ilkeston’s separation from the rails. It lost all of its stations in the 1950s and 1960s (a new one finally opened in 2017), partly as a result of Beeching’s cuts. The coal pits were closed soon after, the factories followed, its lace industry ended. Only Cluny Lace, which made the lace on the wedding dresses of Princess Diana and Kate Middleton, survives.
But don’t write off Ilkeston just yet, says De Patterson, who runs Purplehaze’s Parlour, a pagan shop on the high street, with his wife Steph.
“Ilkeston will not be without its challenges,” he admits. “It’s a neglected working-class town. But we are fighting back.”
Selling crystal, incense and merchandise for local football team, Ilkeston Town, the parlor is one of a handful of new independents in town, says Steph. Cocktail bars and dog groomers are among the others.
“We love it here,” coos De. “It’s friendly, has great pubs and a community spirit.” And famous silver point. “Well, he gets the name out.”
De sends a copy of it Ilkeston life, a community-run newspaper that gives the town a voice as local journalism declines. There’s a story about an alleged murder on the cover and a lighter piece inside about a local man who balanced 350 wine glasses on his head – and just broke a world record.
I walk up the high street in the fog to the lovely market square where traders are packing. I pass pubs, an independent cinema and a church, before swinging by the Erewash Museum, named after the Erewash Valley, which it overlooks. DH Lawrence country.
It’s a wonderful museum housed inside a fine Georgian building and full of really interesting exhibits about local history. From the top floor you can see the iron lattice Bennerley Viaduct, a local landmark, in the distance.
At the museum, I meet Sophie Tilley, artistic director at Studio Players community theatre, founded by her grandmother and attended by local boy actor Robert Lindsay.
Tilley grimaces at the mention of the silver point. “It’s embedded in local folklore,” she says. But her friend, Aelish Riley, thinks it’s “hilarious”. “It’s typical of Ilkeston humour,” she says, citing a carousel full of gnomes (“Gnome Island”) as another local nuisance.
Both agree Ilkeston has plenty to do, despite what TripAdvisor recommends. The town, they say, hosts one of England’s oldest fairs, chartered by Henry VIII, and a new music festival. The museum even has a “beach” in the summer, as well as many community events.
“If you know where to look, there’s a lot going on,” says Tilley. “There are so many people who agree with this town. I always challenge people’s negativity about it. I say: ‘When was the last time you visited the market or went to the cinema or found out what’s on at the museum?’ It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.”
Other towns with strange things that went viral
Bude, Cornwall
A perspex tunnel between a Sainsbury’s supermarket and a car park was the Cornish town’s biggest attraction (it has now gone to number four). “Great shelter from attacking seagulls,” enthused one online reviewer. TripAdvisor bosses ran out of time and suspended new reviews on the trail.
Cinderford, Gloucestershire
A 19ft rusty pole, believed to be a sewer vent and overlooking a sheep field, has become an unlikely discovery in Gloucestershire. So much so that a local cider was named after him.
Woking, Surrey
Prince Andrew’s car accident News Night an interview, in which he denied having sex with a 17-year-old, revealed he was eating at Woking’s Pizza Express. See a series of reviews online, including: “Great staff, great food, no sweat! But I have no recollection of ever being there, so I don’t know why I said that.”
