by Jimmy Kimmel
… on Barbie: “Adopting a plastic doll was a feat no one liked more – you’d have a better chance of my wife buying our daughter a pack of Marlboro Reds than a Barbie doll before this movie. Now Barbie is a feminist icon, thanks to Greta Gerwig, who many believed deserved to be nominated for best director tonight. Wait a second – I know you’re clapping, but you’re the ones who didn’t vote for her, by the way. Don’t act like you had nothing to do with this.”
… on Robert Downey Jr in Oppenheimer: “This is the high point of Robert Downey Jr.’s illustrious career. One of the highest points. [The camera finds Downey Jr, who taps his nose.] Is that also on the nose or a drug offer you made?”
…on Messi, the dog from Anatomy of a Fall: “Messi has an overdose scene … I’ve never seen a French actor eat vomit like that since Gérard Depardieu.”
… on Emma Stone in Poor Things: “Emma played a grown woman with the brain of a child. Like the woman who protested the state of the union.”
Related: Oscars 2024 viral moments: John Cena in the boyfriend, Emma Stone’s eye roll and Paul Giamatti’s tears
… on Robert De Niro and Jodie Foster: “In 1976, Jodie Foster was young enough to play Robert De Niro’s daughter. Now she’s 20 years too old to be his girlfriend.”
… on the Sat-Aftra strikes: “This long and difficult work stoppage has taught us that this very strange town of ours – as pretentious and superficial as it can be – is at its core a town of unity. It’s not just a bunch of heavily botoxed, Hailey-Bieber-smoothie-drinking, prescription-diabetes-abusing, gluten-sensitive nepo babies with perpetually shivering chihuahuas. This is an alliance of strong, hard-working and tough-minded American workers; women and men who would die 100% for sure if we even had to touch a shovel handle.”
Da’Vine Joy Randolph
… on winning best supporting actor for The Holdovers: “I didn’t think I was meant to be doing this as a career. I started as a singer and my mother said to me: ‘Go across that street to that theater section, there’s something for you there.’ And I thank my mother for doing that. … For a long time I always wanted to be different. And now I understand, I just have to be myself.”
Sean Ono Lennon
… after winning best animated short for War Is Over
My mother turned 91 in February, and today is Mother’s Day in the UK, so if everyone could say, “Happy Mother’s Day, Yoko!”
Oscar audience: Happy Mother’s Day, Yoko!
Jefferson Chord
… on winning Best Adapted Screenplay for American Fiction: “There are so many people out there who want the opportunity I was given. I understand that this is a risk-averse industry, I get it, but $200m movies are also risky – and it doesn’t always work, but you take the risk anyway. So instead of making one $200m film, try making 20 $10m films – or 50 $4m films. The next Martin Scorsese is out there, the next Greta – both Gretas! – the next Christopher Nolan. I promise you. Thank you all for trusting a 40 year old black man who has never directed anything before. It changed my life.”
Related: Messi the dog, mini monsters and John Cena revealed: Oscar ceremony 2024 – in pictures
Jonathan Glazer
… on winning best international film for The Zone of Interest: “All our choices were made to reflect and face us in the present – not to say ‘look what they did then’ but ‘look what we do now’. Our film shows the worst places where dehumanization is at the forefront. It shapes the past and the present. Right now we stand here as men who deny their Jewishness and the Holocaust is hijacked by a way of life that has led to conflict for so many innocent people; whether the victims of October 7 in Israel, or the ongoing attack on Gaza – all victims of this dehumanization. How can we resist?”
Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt on Barbie vs. Oppenheimer
Bald: “Well the way this awards season turned out, it wasn’t to a lot of competition. Let him go.”
Gosling: “It’s true, you are doing very well, congratulations. But I think I understood well why they called him ‘Barbenheimer’ and not ‘Oppenbarbie’.”
Bald: “Why?”
Gosling: “I think you were at the end of that tail because you were riding on Barbie’s coat tails all summer.”
Bald: “Thanks for Kensplaining to me that Mr.-I-need-to-paint-my-abs-to-be named. You don’t see Robert Downey doing that.”
Robert Downey Jr
… on winning best supporting actor for Oppenheimer: “I want to thank my terrible childhood and the academy, in that order. I want to thank my vet – I meant his wife, Susan Downey, over there – you found me, a snarling rescue pet, and you loved me back to life. That’s why I’m here … I want to thank my stylist if no one else. And my entertainment lawyer, Tom Hansen, 40 years – who spent the first half of it trying to get me insurance and bail me out of the reeds. Thank you, brother.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito
DeVito: “How did Batman beat you?”
Schwarzenegger: “He used my one weakness against me.”
DeVito: “Heat?”
Schwarzenegger: “Love.”
DeVito: “Oh. He threw me out a window.”
Schwarzenegger: “Batman is a bastard. I hate it.”
Mstislav Chernov
… to win the best documentary for 20 Days in Mariupol: “This is the first Oscar in the history of Ukraine. And I’m very honored, it’s an honor for me. But I will probably be the first director on this stage to say, I wish I had never made this film. I wish to be able to exchange this for Russia that never attacked Ukraine, never occupied our cities… to Russia without killing thousands of my fellow Ukrainians. I pray that they release all the hostages, all the soldiers who are defending their lands, all the civilians who are now in prison.
“I cannot change history. I can’t change the past. But we are all collectively some of the most talented people in the world. We can ensure that the historical record is set straight, and that the truth will prevail. And that the people of Mariupol and those who gave their lives will never be forgotten. Because cinema makes memories, and memories make history.”
Seán Ó Maoláin
… presenting the best sound design: “Some people say that the golden age of cinema was the silent film era. Those people are difficult and crazy … How about that moment in Field of Dreams when we hear, ‘If you build it it will come’? And then Costner does it, he builds a baseball field. But I guess he doesn’t take it, he cuts down the cup and then there’s a pitch and then he’s like, ‘I’m going to watch ghosts play baseball.’ And then the bank is like, ‘You want to pay your mortgage?’ and he’s like, ‘Nah, I’m going to watch ghosts play baseball.’ And then he finds James Earl Jones, who wrote The Boat Rocker – which I thought was a real book deep into my 20s – and he’s like, ‘People will come, Ray.’ He is the only one who has the financial plan … I love Field of Dreams. That should win best picture! But they will probably go with one this year. These are the nominees.”
Billie Eilish
… on winning best original song for What Was I Made For?: “I want to thank my best friend Zoe for playing Barbie with me growing up, and always being by my side. I would like to thank my dance teachers growing up. I want to thank my choir teachers – Miss Freedham, for believing in me, and Miss T, I didn’t like you but you did a good job.”
Nic Cage
…to Paul Giamatti: “Last year, Paul Giamatti was so committed that he wore a soft contact lens during the entire movie to make the character have a lazy eye, which blinded that eye while filming. Would I have done that? Hell yes. But the point is, you did it, Paul! And you were brilliant, again. Bravo!”
Cillian Murphy
… on Oppenheimer’s best actor win: “I am a very proud Irishman standing here tonight. We made a film about the man who created the atomic bomb and for better or worse we all live in Oppenheimer’s world, so I want to dedicate this to pacifists everywhere.”
Christopher Ó Nulláin
… on Oppenheimer’s best picture win: “Films are a little over 100 years old. Imagine being there 100 years into painting or theatre. We don’t know where this incredible journey is going from here but if you know that you think I’m part of it, it means the world to me.”
Emma Stone
… after winning best actress for Poor Things: “My dress is torn. I think it happened during I’m Just Ken. I’m pretty sure. Oh boy this is really great. Sorry, my voice is a little off too … Don’t look at the back of my dress.”
Jimmy Kimmel
… on Donald Trump: After reading an almost verbatim negative review of Kimmel’s hosting, posted on Trump’s Truth Social page:
“Thanks for watching – I’m surprised you’re still here. Isn’t it over your jail time?”
Read more about Oscars 2024:
• Here’s our news coverage and full list of winners – read Peter Bradshaw’s judgment now
• Al Pacino, British mothers and cod cover: the real winners and losers of the night
• Relive the ceremony as it happened with our live blog and stay up to date with the best viral moments and best quotes of the night
• Think about how the stars looked on the red carpet and at the show
