YOU ARE in uncertainty – you want to order dessert, but you feel you shouldn’t.
Your inner voice is saying: “Why can my skinny friend eat whatever they want, but look at tiramisu and blow up?”
While environment and genetics influence weight, so can your mind.
“Women come to me to lose weight, but weight is a symptom of the problem, it’s not the problem,” says Dr. Aileen Alexander, a former family doctor who founded Nourish to help women break fad diet cycles.
“It’s hard for women in our culture to lose weight and keep it off,” says Dr. Alexander.
“They lose unhealthy amounts in the early days of a new diet, and when they don’t continue to lose weight they feel like a failure, because they couldn’t stick to the process.”
Research suggests that 80% of people who lose a significant amount of weight gain it back within 12 months.*
Why? “These all-or-nothing approaches can change women’s relationship with food. It affects food choices and erodes self-esteem,” says Dr. Alexander.
Before you know it, that tiramisu doesn’t just look delicious – it’s a source of comfort, leading to binges and guilt.
If you’ve been on all kinds of diets, it’s time to try something new – a change of mindset.
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“It’s about learning to observe our hunger and satiety signals, being aware of when we’re comfortably eating, and ultimately being kind to ourselves, mentally and physically,” says the Dr. Alexander.
Follow these tips to help you rebuild your relationship with food and achieve health benefits.
1. Eat what you want
Breaking up with diet culture starts with allowing yourself to eat chocolate, cakes, crisps and biscuits.
“We tend to end up wanting those foods less when we allow ourselves to have them as part of a healthy, balanced diet,” says Dr. Alexander.
“Eat 80% whole foods – naturally occurring and unprocessed – and 20% whatever you want.”
Changing your attitude to allow yourself to eat what you want can be scary and you may even end up bingeing on foods that were previously forbidden to begin with, but that’s part of the process.
“It usually takes four to eight weeks to allow yourself to eat what you want, but it really depends on someone’s background,” explains Dr. Alexander, for example if they have one. history of yo-yo dieting or an eating disorder.
2. Stop when you are full
Slim people stop eating when they feel full. But yo-yo dieters often lose track of their hunger cues – the natural way of deciding when to eat and when to stop.
If your life revolves around calorie counting, for example, you might think more about numbers than you do about hunger levels.
“What I give my clients is to use a hunger-to-satiety guide for a while,” says Dr. Alexander.
Using a scale of one to 10 – one being hungry and 10 being uncomfortably full – you can reconnect with hunger cues.
“When you train yourself, you know where you are, because it’s programmed into your brain,” says Dr. Alexander. She warns that ultra-processed foods, such as a milk chocolate bar, contribute to these symptoms.
“When we eat these, they create a point of joy – the perfect combination of sugar and fat. We don’t think about precautions as much as we eat them.”
As explained, these foods do not need to be completely banned, but you are now armed with the knowledge that they are designed to be lighter.
3. Do not skip meals
Do you think skipping breakfast will save you calories? It could – if you have the willpower to avoid overeating later in the day.
“When we skip meals, we become overly hungry, and it becomes more difficult to eat mindfully or intuitively,” says Dr. Alexander.
“Eating regular meals helps us respond to our body’s signals and promotes balance energy levels and productivity, too.”
4. Understand cravings
Are you hungry or trying to get food to deal with stress? Lean people don’t tend to use food as a way to cope with emotions.
“I’m a big fan of journaling, walking and exercise for stress management,” says Dr. Alexander.
“I always say the way to tell if he’s hungry or brave is to ask him: ‘Could I have an apple?’. If you couldn’t, you know you’re crazy,” says Dr. Alexander.
“If this is the case, try to understand what is going on. Are you tired? Fatigue and stress cause hormonal imbalances, resulting in cravings. Are you sorry?”
Deal with the root cause, rather than the craving.
5. Be careful at meals
You’ve probably heard of mindful eating before, but what exactly is it?
“It’s about savoring the taste and texture of the food, creating a pleasant eating environment and being present with that food,” explains Dr Alexander.
Eating while distracted can cause you to overeat. Often, those who are thin savor every bite and listen to their brain telling them they are full.
“How can you make sure that you’re full of flavor and experience eating that food? Sit down. Eat at the table.
“Put your phone away. Make sure the only thing you’re doing is eating,” says Dr. Alexander.
6. Ditch the scales
Slim or lean people may use weighing scales to check their weight gain after a holiday.
But if you want to lose weight, there are other ways to track health improvement that aren’t a so-called “sad phase”.
“The scales don’t tell us how healthy we are – they’re an indication of total body weight, which changes for many reasons, such as during your period or after a high-salt meal,” says Dr Alexander.
“Focusing on markers of progress beyond what the scales say is key to long-term success.”
Think how much better you feel in clothes that flatter your shape, or how much better your mental health is now that you have the energy to go to the gym and exercise.
7. Be sociable
You’ll still find skinny people eating out, but dieters often label it a “cheat meal” or avoid it altogether.
“When there’s a social event, people panic. But you should go,” says Dr. Alexander.
“Health has three components – physical, mental and social. The social aspect is so important. If you have to miss out on socializing to lose or maintain a certain weight, it’s unsustainable.”
Diets themselves are not sustainable, which is why the weight comes back on when you slip into old habits and feel like a failure. Instead, make tweaks that work for you.
“Women want to be liked,” says Dr. Alexander. “Maybe you go out with the intention of not drinking, but then your friend orders wine and you say: ‘Oh, go away, then.’
“But they may not realize that you are on a health journey.” Try a new activity with a friend, such as tennis lessons, instead of a meal out.
How to lose weight safely
Losing weight should be a long-term commitment to healthier living, rather than any drastic measures.
NHS tips – which can be taken slowly – include:
- Be active for 150 minutes a week – you can break this up into shorter sessions
- Try to get your 5 a day – 80g of fresh, tinned or frozen fruit or vegetables will count as 1 portion
- Aim to lose 1 to 2 pounds, or 0.5 to 1kg, per week
- Read food labels – green color coded products are often a healthier choice than amber and red
- Swap sugary drinks for water – if you don’t like the taste, add lemon or lime slices to taste
- Cut down on foods high in sugar and fat – start by swapping sugary grains for whole grain alternatives
- Share your weight loss plan with someone you trust – they can help cheer you up when you’re having a bad day
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