by Note to the editor: Shift Your Mindset is a monthly series from CNN’s Mindfulness, But Better team. We talk to experts about how to do things differently to live a better life.
The charmer that once sent shivers down your spine morphs into the familiar face over the breakfast table. The fancy French-door refrigerator you ogled on the showroom floor now blends in with your other appliances. The fire-engine red convertible that gave you goose bumps on the test drive has turned into your regular ride.
This same phenomenon happens with things that once bothered you: First you are choking on the chlorine cloud at your local pool but you barely notice the smell. Your boss laughs, but by now his barking is just background noise.
It is a human phenomenon to respond less and less to repeating stimuli. Over time, what once amazed you becomes normal. Which looked awful, too.
In their new book, “Look Again: Unlocking the Power of What Was There,” researchers Tali Sharot and Cass R. Sunstein explore how happiness, relationships, work, and community can be improved with fresh eyes you found that was exciting. They also address how ignoring the “bad things” can be an important motivation – vital, they write, for “the fight against stupidity, cruelty, suffering, the waste, corruption, discrimination, misrepresentation and tyranny.”
Here Sharot and Sunstein offer practical strategies for how to harness the reality of human nature to improve our lives.
This conversation has been edited and condensed for clarity.
CNN: What does the myth that a the frog will not jump out of a pot of boiling water if the temperature is gradually increased enough tell us about the procedure?
Cass R. Sunstein: We should take the story of the boiling frog seriously but not literally. It captures an aspect of human nature that has far-reaching consequences.
Tali Sharot: Although recent science suggests that the frog will jump out and survive, what is more important to us is the analogy that suggests that an agent will recognize negative circumstances if the changes are very gradually.
Whether it’s getting used to pollution and the effects of climate change, or horrible things around us like war and racism, we are less likely to notice and have an emotional response to small incremental changes and as the less likely we are to take action. And terrible things, like genocide, usually start small.
CNN: Like other myths, the story of the boiling frog often becomes. How does repetition affect our understanding of truth?
Sharot: When we hear something more than once, our brain spends less time and effort to process it. The first time you hear a statement, for example, “there’s a shrimp heart in its head,” you might try to picture the heart in the head or remember the last time you ate shrimp. But the next time I say it, your brain doesn’t have to process as much, so there’s less of a reaction.
If a statement does not surprise us, we assume that it is probably true. This “illusory truth effect” is so strong that it is one of the easiest effects to generate in the laboratory. If you hear something more than once, you are more likely to believe it. Today misinformation and fake news is a big problem as fake statements are repeated through retweets, shares, etc.
Sunstein: A certain degree of inoculation can be created to protect against lies if the strength of the illusory truth effect is recognized. You might think to yourself, “I’ve heard enough. Maybe I should find out if it’s true.” The power of repetition is often underestimated. Not enough people try to convey messages of real value.
CNN: How does normal living affect what you call “irritant or harmful” life factors?
Sunstein: Say you are in a workplace where the boss is mean, or coworkers are difficult. We tend to get used to these factors, which is good in that we don’t suffer as much, but it’s also not good because we don’t try to improve our situation. In a country without freedom or good health care, for example, people can get used to things that are not good rather than struggle against it. The blessing comes as a reduced sensitivity to negative stimuli; the curse is that insensitivity reduces the pressure to change things and perhaps improve life.
CNN: How can we use habit to foster creative thinking?
Sharot: One creativity study shows that simple changes in your environment, like moving from the office to a cafe, taking a different route to work or just getting up for a walk, can increase flexible thinking. When our brain is focused on change, we tend to think differently, which creates creativity.
Major events often occur when I am not consciously focusing on a problem or trying to solve a problem. Reading the paper or running helps me to think more freely. Suddenly your unconscious has a chance to combine and encode information that is irrelevant, until your mind starts connecting it together.
Sunstein: Diversity also improves happiness and well-being by helping us see what we know through new perspectives. The impulse to “mix things up” has deep neurological wisdom. It will help you feel alive in ways you never knew you were missing.
CNN: Do we need big changes to see the world differently?
Sunstein: Even small changes can have a big impact. Waking up from a nightmare about someone you love dying can be a huge relief that they are still alive. Before the dream you may have known that you had a good thing, but afterwards you feel it too. A vivid mental image brought color back to a gray part of your life. You can change the gray parts of your life colorfully through even small changes, with imaginative exercises and moderate physical changes.
CNN: What advice do you have for people who are considering major life changes?
Sunstein: Our data suggests that if you’re seriously considering making a life change, you probably should. Take that as a rule of thumb, not ironclad advice. Research shows that when people take the plunge by moving to another city, taking a new job or making another major life change, they report feeling better several months later. This highlights the waning vitality effect and suggests that indecisive people are likely to be overly cautious.
CNN: How can we increase pleasure?
Sharot: Since our brain stops paying attention to things that don’t change – whether we consider them good or bad – some results are counterintuitive. If you ask people if they enjoy listening to a piece of music more uninterrupted or with breaks, 99% say uninterrupted. But they are wrong. Study participants who listened to music occasionally said they enjoyed it more than those who listened continuously. This suggests that we should break up the activities we enjoy with short breaks to encourage more pleasure by reducing the habit that will reduce the sensation.
CNN: Should we also break up unpleasant activities?
Sunstein: No. Motor through terrible experiences. If you’re cleaning a room that’s a mess – like my office, right now – do it all at once. If you stick with it, you’ll live a normal life and you’ll hate it. But if you break it up into parts, you’ll hate it every time.
CNN: Do people get more pleasure from material things or experiences?
Sunstein: Experiences. Studies show that our satisfaction with material goods drops significantly over time, while satisfaction with experiences often increases. You may stop noticing a new possession after a short time, but meaningful experiences seem to have lasting benefits.
CNN: Looks like we should skip expensive products for more vacation! What does the science show?
Sharot: People on tropical vacations were surveyed to find out when they were happiest – the first cock or the first moment they saw the ocean. We learned that people reached peak happiness 43 hours after they arrived. After that, the joy started to wane. This tells us that we are likely to be happier if we take a shorter vacation instead of one long vacation.
Sunstein: Plus, a lot of vacation fun comes from anticipating the trip and then remembering it afterward. The satisfaction of the anticipation and the memory will be high even for a short holiday. And more holidays means more variety.
Jessica DuLong is a Brooklyn, New York journalist, book contributor, writing coach and author of “Saved at the Seawall: Stories From the September 11 Boat Lift” and “My River Chronicles: Rediscovering the Work That Built America.”
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