Kate Garraway said it was “stopping the clock” when she found out her husband Derek Draper was going to die.
The TV star made an emotional appearance on ITV’s Good Morning Britain just three days after her husband was laid to rest at a funeral on Friday, and spoke of her “outpouring of love for everyone who supported me”.
Appearing from her home with bouquets of flowers and Lego in the background, she joked: “Let’s own the mess and go with it, Lego and all the chaos.”
She expressed her gratitude for a book of condolences with messages from viewers that she received, as well as three baskets of cards from viewers and the ITV crew.
She said: “It’s amazing. It feels like my emotions are at 110%. The incredible love we all have as a GMB family, it’s just amazing. We are lucky.
“The love we have as a family together, that is people watching at home, we are so connected.
“And we’ve always been connected to all our joys, and our fun and life’s challenges, things that poor Derek faced first hand, and so did our family.
“But to have those messages, it makes me cry, because I feel so grateful.
“I also know that there are people in the morning who do not have that love. And I want to share with you because I know there will be people going to funerals today, who will be hearing terrible diagnoses today, and who will be facing the worst today.
“And I’m thinking of them, really, because I know how they feel, and I’m lucky to have all of you.”
Draper’s funeral was attended by former prime minister Sir Tony Blair, musician Sir Elton John and Labor leader Sir Keir Starmer.
The service took place on Friday at the Church of St Mary the Virgin in Primrose Hill, north-west London.
Former political lobby psychologist Draper married the GMB presenter at the same church in September 2005.
Draper fell seriously ill during the start of the Covid-19 pandemic in March 2020 and spent 13 months in hospital before being discharged.
He died on January 3 at the age of 56 after suffering long-term symptoms from the coronavirus.
Asked how she managed to keep it together while caring for her husband for four years, she said: “I’m not sure I did very well. I think I depended on everyone else, as we all do.
“I think I owe a huge debt to so many people and especially to Derek, really, because he never said his spirit and his fight to keep going: ‘I don’t want to try. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do that.’
“Not the children. The children were all amazing.”
Reflecting on how it felt to be told Draper would not survive a serious downturn in his health, she said: “It was one of those ‘stop the clock’ moments, where you want the world.
“And I think the void that you feel at that point, after being completely focused for four years: what do I need to do next? What can I do for Derek, what’s happening with the kids? That’s all it swamps you.
“Thought: right, what we were told was 24 hours, and it turned out to be more than a month of him fighting and fighting for although the prognosis was, this is one that he will not make it through.
“And that is a challenge, because for the children, when they heard the doctors say that he will not survive this, they heard that many times.
“We knew Derek could still hear even though he couldn’t open his eyes, so it was a challenge to make sure he knew he wasn’t letting us down, because he couldn’t go through this last one.”
She said the two children spent time with their father alone, adding: “Darcey said: ‘If you can’t do that, we’ll be fine,’ and I thought it was amazing brave.”
The couple’s daughter Darcey acted as a pallbearer at the service, and Garraway said: “She insisted on doing it and I thought it was a lovely thing.”
As for Darcey and her son Billy, she said: “Their grief will continue, we’re at the bottom, we know there’s a long way to go.”
However, she said she is looking to the future, adding: “A new life begins now. I don’t know quite how it will be. But grief cannot be contained in a day or a month or a year.
“I think some people say: why are you going back to work? Well, everyone has to, doesn’t it? Life must begin.”
Paying tribute to carers, she said: “We have so much pride in our medical profession, and so many skills, but we need to have a different system of support, care, and anything that really happens when we don’t you are at school. moment of life and death.
“It has to change and it is expected to change.
“But I think for people who are in a caring position, they will know two things – how difficult it is, but how much it has been an honor, and how much I want to be giving attention today.
“Because it’s an incredible thing to protect the world.”
Garraway will return to the ITV show on Thursday and joked: “I’m going to be looking forward to a blow dry.
“I’m going to find fake eyelashes. I’m really looking forward to applying fake tan.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be a little better by Thursday. I’ll be doing a lot of homework between now and then because I feel like I’m in a very small bubble.
“So I’m really looking forward to coming out into the world and sharing what’s going on with everyone else and connecting with everyone again.
“So, thanks for having me back, and for having a little patience. I might be a little rusty … There’s a new king, isn’t there? Did I accept that?”
She added that she has received “unusual” messages of condolence from unexpected places.
Garraway said: “I had the most beautiful letter from David and Victoria Beckham – handwritten, really good handwriting… that was Darcey’s idea.
“And from the royal family – Catherine and William sent a lovely letter, and I know Catherine was in hospital herself.
“Even the King, because someone knows about the sadness, that anticipatory sadness when you know that something is in danger of happening and how different it is when it does happen.”