by I regret to inform you that it is almost that time: the time when we have to think about summer shoes. Shoes that could reveal some leg, or a really scary amount. Shoes that we can wear without socks. Shoes that somehow carry us from morning to night without slowly poaching toes. Shoes that will not cause a child passing by in the street to cry or cry. The barns will be here any minute, the smell of blackened chicken wings is floating over the neighbor’s fence, and now we have to untangle our feet from their winter cheese, as evacuees are cut from their winter vests.
First, a news announcement. You may have noticed, or read, that boat shoes are making a comeback. Or “having a moment”, as they say in the fashion business. The return of the boat shoe feels as unlikely and retro as the return of Liz Truss to me, but there was a £660 pair in Miu Miu’s spring/summer collection, so they were considered fashionable again. Vogue went even further and declared 2024 the “year of the boat shoe”, which feels like a bold claim given that several key democracies around the world are holding elections this year, but I appreciate the passion. Especially for a shoe that is more traditional to slip on the country gentleman on a sunny Sunday morning to walk the Labrador to the local newspaper. This guy would wear red pants and maybe Panama. It is the traditional home of the boat shoe.
But now we should all be wearing them, thanks to the influence of movies like Saltburn and the Netflix series The Gentleman, which is being fingered for the rise in popularity of preppy fashion, including boat shoes and rugby shirts. Next is pushing it for £38 if you can’t stretch to the Miu Miu ones.
This news about boat shoes is a great relief, as I have been worried for some time about the rise of the Birkenstock. My new-ish other half has already warned me about it. “I spend a good part of the summer wearing sandals,” Paul said carefully, several months ago. “What kind of sandals?” I checked. “Birkenstocks,” he replied. One of the many reasons I fell for him was his great dress sense – linen shirts, cable knit jumpers, leather cycling boots, which he wears all winter long. Will I want to wear a pair of Birkenstocks? It remains to be seen, as he hasn’t knocked them out yet. But I can feel the moment approaching.
My friend Tom Chamberlin, editor of dapper men magazine The Rack, begs to differ. “I know the rumor that the Birkenstock is back is on everyone’s lips, but the story is back on the mullet and there are better haircuts,” he laughs.
Espadrilles with a rubber sole are better than a boat shoe, says Tom. Don’t even bother asking him about trainers, or if Adidas Sambas are out since the Prime Minister wore them a few weeks ago, because I’ve never seen Tom in a pair of trainers. You can find really great sandals, says Tom, from the likes of Tod’s and Ralph Lauren.
Hmm. I don’t think we women have it much easier. Around this time of year, I find myself watching women on the Tube, in their smooth sandals with perfect nails, and I wonder if I’ll ever be the organized person who checks the weather forecast in advance and will adjust it. Personal grooming regime accordingly? And can one really spend all day wandering the streets of London wearing Roman-esque sandals without lacerations? I often fall back on white plimpsolls or espadrilles to hide my toes, but these can also be uncomfortable after a long day. Talcum powder advises a friend, who says she carries it with her everywhere at this time of year, to scrub her shoes when they get too sticky.
A few years ago, among my friends, I addressed the question of whether we could still wear espadrille wedges in the summer, or if they would become naff, and my friends. goodness, the reaction. I might have said I prefer cats to dogs. Some were horrified, in other words, declaring them clumpy and unsexy. Others were more in favor. The best answer of all came from a well-connected friend who was at the Royal wedding in a pair. “The great thing about espadrilles,” she told me, “is that you can curtsey in them. The tire supports you, so there’s less shock when you go down.” Remember, if you’re out to a garden party or the King asks you for a barbecue.
Another alarming development in summer footwear is the rise of ugly sandals – slimy things with wide straps and a sole as thick as a hard cover. When I was a teenager and my feet had grown faster than my body, my grandmother sent me a catalog of wide-fitting shoes, the orthopedic kind you see in the back of magazines. Even they were more attractive than the fishermen’s sandals clumping around town now. It is as if women, after being released from the pressure and shackles of ridiculous heels after many years, want to wear shoes that look like a working man on purpose. Okay, but isn’t there a middle ground between the kind of shoe you could wear if you had recent bunion surgery and heels?
Let’s not even discuss Crocs. Although I will say that on a recent trip to New York I saw dozens of pairs on the subway. Colored pairs. Camouflage pairs. Bejeweled pairs. So those of us standing out on the Crocs front may soon be in the minority.
Ballet shoes are fine this summer too, others point out, again because preppy dressing is back. But since my feet are a size large (42, if you must know, or a generous 8), I always feel a little fraudulent in ballet pumps – like a butcher shoving too much sausage meat into his skin . I used to buy pumps from a shop in Brixton for women with, ahem, slightly bigger feet. Guess what this shop was called? Actually, it was Elephant Feet, although it closed a long time ago (little surprise).
But boat shoes. Thank heavens the fashion crowd has confirmed that men and women can wear boat shoes again, whether you own a boat and/or a Labrador, or both. I’m going to buy myself a pair and start greeting others with a jaunty, “Ahoy, there!”
