by Pop culture would have us believe that you only know when you have found the perfect wedding dress if you burst into tears. Countless movies and TV shows tell us that anything less than a strong display of emotion indicates that you should continue the search. This gives us unrealistic expectations of what we should aim to feel, but, as any designer or trained wedding expert will confirm, the quieter signals brides make when they find the dress they want are often marrying them carries real weight. A combination of non-verbal actions and tells us to give away; subtle language between the bride and the designer. You may not know that you have found the perfect wedding dress yet, but the expert standing next to you in the store probably already has a clear idea.
“It’s simply years of experience working with women and interpreting what they say – and, more often, what they don’t say – and always being one step ahead,” says Kate Halfpenny from Halfpenny London, which includes her married clients. Emilia Fox and Ophelia Lovibond. “We are always listening and that much is being said during those periods of silence to give us a clue as to what they both need. We are like detectives.”
As someone who only recently searched for and found my perfect wedding dress, I can attest that it’s only when you start trying things that you really know – or when you really feel. You can have as many preconceived notions as you like, but you will only really get clarity when you feel the fabric against you, experience how it moves, and the way it looks something on you. Often, we don’t know what we want until someone opens our minds to new ideas and takes us out of our comfort zone. Sometimes it takes an expert – someone who sees and hears us – to feel the best version of ourselves. Bridal designers and stylists often realize that a client has found the perfect dress before she makes it herself.
We spoke to three wedding experts to find out the subtle signs you’re making that tell them the wedding dress search is over.
The shoulder drop
“More often than not, the bride’s body language loosens, her shoulders drop and they start to move around in the dress – we’ve seen some women practice dance moves,” says Amelia Tompkins of Love Story London. “She’ll put her hands in more relaxed positions if she likes the dress, rather than covering it. It’s all a reflection of the confidence she’s wearing.”
Immediate access
“When a bride loves the dress, she wants to see the whole look to imagine the whole outfit,” says Pronovias product director Anna Ramirez. “She will try on shoes, jewelery and maybe an outfit to visualize the whole picture. Also, if she’s come without family members and she’s really invested in a particular dress, she’ll usually call a relative over FaceTime so they can see her.”
Change in posture
“Signs can be subtle and it can be hard for people to see them, but brides stand a little closer, roll their shoulders back and walk out of the dressing room with their heads held high,” says Kate Halfpenny. “There’s also often a lot of swooshing going on. It’s amazing to watch.”
The amount of time you want to spend in your dress
“When a bride is in love with a dress, she doesn’t want to give it up and will stay in it for the longest time without taking it off,” says Tompkins. “She’s not thinking about what she has to try, or quickly changing to something else.”
Smiling
“It seems obvious, but the moment she smiles, we know we’re on the right track,” says Ramirez. “Her face lights up and her eyes get wider and brighter.” Tompkins agrees, “a smile from ear to ear signifies that the hunt is over.”
Joyful relief
“The search for a wedding dress can be exhausting,” says Jenny Packham. “The bright range of white can be amazing. Victorian swooning is not JP’s bridal style; the dress is just one part of their day and, while important, it’s just one of the many decisions they have to make to create their perfect wedding. There is a moment though; a quiet smile in the mirror and maybe a sigh. A moment of celebration as the future becomes brighter and brighter.”
And remember, don’t worry if there are no tears
“For some women, it’s so emotional that they cry, while for others it’s a quiet realization – a comfort that they’re expressing themselves in the exact way they want, inside and out completely aligned,” a says Halfpenny. “Sometimes the bride doesn’t know right away. Sometimes she needs a moment to take it in and process what she sees in the mirror. Don’t worry if you don’t have that ‘big moment’ where you burst into tears because it’s often irrelevant. If you love how you feel in that outfit, it’s 100 percent ‘The One.’”
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