Why is persuasion so difficult, even when you have facts on your side?
As a philosopher, I am particularly interested in persuasion – not just how to persuade someone, but how to do it ethically, without manipulation. I found that one of the most profound insights comes from a German philosopher Immanuel Kantfocus of my research, born 300 years ago: April 22, 1724.
In his last book on ethics, “The Doctrine of Virtue,” Kant writes that we have a certain duty when we try to correct the beliefs of others. If we think they are mistaken, we shouldn’t dismiss them as “absences” or “bad judgment,” he says, but rather think there is “some truth” in their views.
What Kant is describing can be humbling – just recognizing that others often know things that we don’t. But it goes further than that.
This moral obligation to find the truth in the mistakes of others is based on helping the other to “preserve his own understanding,” Kant claims. In other words, even when we have clearly false opinions, morality asks us to help the person we are talking to maintain self-respect – to find something reasonable in their opinion.
This advice can come across as patronizing, as if we were supposed to treat other adults like children with fragile desires. But I think Kant is onto something important here, and contemporary psychology can help us see it.
The need for respect
Imagine you had to postpone lunch because of a meeting. With only 15 minutes to spare and a growling stomach, it’s left to get a burrito.
On your way, however, you run into your colleague. “I’m glad to see you,” they say. “I expect the meeting to change your mind.”
In that case, your colleague has little chance of persuading you. Why? Well, you need food, and they are going your way to satisfy that need.
As persuasive psychologists have long recognized, attention is a key factor in persuasion, and people ignore persuasive arguments when they have more pressing needs – especially hunger, sleep and safety. But less obvious needs can convince people.
Something that has received a lot of attention in recent years is the need for social belonging.
Psychologist Dan Kahan gives the example of someone who, like everyone in their community, denies that climate change exists. If that person made a public correction of their faith, they could be scorned by friends and family. In that case, Kahan suggests, it may be “perfectly rational” for them to ignore the scientific evidence about an issue they cannot directly affect, in order to satisfy their social need for connection.
This means that a respectful occupant needs to take into account the need for the social dignity of others, for example by avoiding public settings when discussing sensitive or taboo topics.
… and self-esteem
But external needs, such as hunger or social acceptance, are not the only ones that affect persuasion. In a classic 1988 article on self-affirmation, psychologist Claude Steele argued that our desire to maintain “self-esteem” as a good, competent person greatly shapes psychology.
In more philosophical terms: People need self-esteem. This can explain why, for example, students sometimes blame low grades on bad luck and a difficult subject, but explain high grades in terms of their own ability and effort.
Steele’s approach yielded some surprising results. For example, one study invited female students to write down values that were important to them – a self-affirmation exercise. Subsequently, many students who did this exercise gained higher grades in a physics course, especially girls who had previously performed worse than male students.
That study and many others show how boosting a person’s self-esteem can empower them to face intellectual challenges, including challenges to their personal beliefs.
With that in mind, let’s return to Kant.
Politics is personal
Recall Kant’s claim: When we confront someone with false beliefs, even absurdly false beliefs, we must help them preserve their respect for their own understanding by recognizing some element of truth in their judgments. That truth could be a fact we overlooked, or an important experience they had.
Kant is not just talking about being polite or polite. It draws attention to a real human need – a need that occupiers must recognize if they want to be heard fairly.
For example, say you want to change your cousin’s mind about who to support in the 2024 election. You come equipped with well-crafted evidence and carefully choose a good moment for a one-on-one talk. .
Despite all that, your chances will be slim if you ignore your cousin’s need for self-esteem. In a country as polarized as the US today, an argument about whether to vote can feel like a direct attack on one’s competence and moral decency.
So, giving someone evidence that they should change their views can address their need for self-esteem – our human need to see ourselves as smart and good.
Moral maturity
In other words, persuasion involves a lot of juggling: In addition to making strong and persuasive arguments, the persuader must also threaten the other person’s need for self-esteem.
The actual juggling would be much easier if we could slow things down. That’s why juggling on the Moon would be about twice as easy as on Earth, thanks to the Moon’s lower gravity.
When it comes to persuasion, however, we can slow things down by pacing the conversation, and make time to learn something from the other person in return. This is a sign that you take them seriously – and this can boost their self-esteem.
To be ethical, this openness to learning must be honest. But that’s not difficult: On most subjects, each of us has limited experience. For example, Donald Trump or Joe Biden may have validated some of your cousin’s frustrations about their local government, in ways you might not guess.
This approach has an important benefit for you too: helping you preserve your self-esteem. After all, reaching out to others shows moral maturity. Not only will it help you convince someone but the need to make others feel proud.
This article is republished from The Conversation, a non-profit, independent news organization that brings you reliable facts and analysis to help you make sense of our complex world. It was written by: Colin Marshall, University of Washington
Read more:
Colin Marshall does not work for, consult with, hold shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond his academic appointment.