by RED LIGHT, RED LIGHT?
For most of Sir Alex Ferguson’s time at Manchester United, a bit of wisdom was repeated throughout football. No, not “you all become fools”, but, “when you leave Old Trafford, the only way is down”. Gerard Piqué was the first to inadvertently challenge him when he took an unlikely shortcut from Manchester United’s reserves to the club’s greatest ever side. Then, when Ferguson retired in 2013, the cliché was turned right on its head. In 2024, the only way is down when you enter Old Trafford – down to the Bermuda Triangle where careers are lost forever. From Morgan Schneiderlin to Mason Mount via Anthony Martial and Jadon Sancho, there are world-class footballers who could be victims of a football version of the Squid Game. Then again, given United’s transfer policy and wage structure, it’s likely – yes, we’re really going to go there – that it would be called the Quid Game.
Okay, the analogy doesn’t hold up because most players eventually escape. In fact, the last confirmed sighting of Donny van de Beek was him running past Lou Macari’s Fish & Chip Shop, belting out Yazz & The Plastic Population. But in most cases, only the bodies emerge from the leaky hell that was formerly known as the Theater of Dreams. The souls and football ability remain in the bowels of Old Trafford. [Isn’t that more Twin Peaks than Squid Game? – Football Daily Ed.]
Of all the players to leave at Old Trafford, Sancho is among the saddest and most frustrating. At Borussia Dortmund he was both a Fantasy Footballer and a fantasy footballer, producing goals and assists in industrial quantities with languid elegance. He showed a few signs of his undeniable class at United, most notably when he sent half the Liverpool team to the wrong fire in the defeat that began a reign that Erik ten Hag had once promised. Sancho and Ten Hag have not spoken since their public reported him after the Arsenal match in August, and now it looks like he will be back on loan at Dortmund. In days gone by Sancho would have offended the football gods by defying two pieces of received wisdom – never go back, and the only way is down when you leave Old Trafford. Now it feels like the safer option.
Sancho’s return to Old Trafford is likely to depend on whether Ten Hag receive an app of a newly minted P45 in the coming months. Whoever becomes United’s manager in the summer is likely to have less of a say in deciding the new rivals in the 2024-25 Quid Game series. According to today’s reports, Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s project manager team are looking to make Crystal Palace’s Michael Olise one of their first signings of the summer. Olise certainly fits the profile of a modern United signing: he was available at half price last August. He is also a beautiful footballer who ticks both F/fantasy boxes; he is exactly what United need in place of Antony, Sancho and Mason Greenwood on the right wing. In fact, they need more than he needs. There’s always the temptation of Old Trafford – no matter how many careers go south, any goalie knows that the next group of players to win the league will be United legends. Besides, this time United is real, because Sir Jim and Sir Dave are in charge and they know what they are doing. This time it will be different, right? Right?
STATEMENT OF THE DAY
“I spoke to him and apologized on behalf of the club. He was understandably still angry and upset. No player deserves such abuse and we are truly sorry that he suffered it. We will do everything we can to identify the culprit and take the strongest action we can … It is very disappointing. We ask fans to stop and behave. This can’t go on” – Carlisle chief executive Nigel Clibbens has criticized the fan who told Port Vale keeper Connor Ripley to “go and hang yourself” during the League One game at Brunton Park on New Year’s Day.
DAILY FOOTBALL LETTERS
Re: Yesterday’s football. I am a simple man with simple needs and this is all Villa fans ask for 2024: Frank Lampard’s Birmingham City” – Antony Train.
Re: Yesterday’s Quote of the Day. In one way – and perhaps only one – I’m ahead of Jürgen Klopp in the touch business. Just like that I’ve lost a kilo or two since I got married, which means my wedding ring is in danger of being lost during a game. However, unlike him, I saw this as a risk beforehand so I am careful to leave the ring at home whenever I train. Having said that, if we could get a professional TV camera crew down to stand by to retrieve the ring if it were lost, I’d be happy to wear it on match days in the Nottinghamshire Under 18 Saturday League (Division 4)” – David Uniforms.
Why is Klopp’s cameraman carrying a donkey’s head under his right arm as shown in Thought of the Day?” – Mick Beeby.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. The winner of our unique letter today is … David Ede.
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The latest edition of the sister newsletter picks seven of the biggest stories to watch in women’s football this year. And if you haven’t already, sign up here to have it gracefully driven straight to your inbox.
NEWS, YEAST AND BOBS
Jonathan Morgan has resumed his duties as manager of Sheffield United’s women’s team following an inquiry into his conduct.
Getafe defended Mason Greenwood after the England forward was one of three men sent off as they were beaten 2-0 by Rayo Vallecano. Referee Jorge Figueroa Vázquez claimed in his post-match report that Greenwood insulted him in English, but manager José Bordalás insisted: “He doesn’t speak Spanish very well, he told me he was saying something else. He was frustrated because the referee wasn’t calling him any fouls, but he never offended anyone. It was just a comment he made.”
Livingston has released a tribute to Dominican Republic defender Luiyi de Lucas.
Celtic are eight points clear of Rangers going into the Scottish Premiership winter break after a 3-0 win over St Mirren. Their old rivals Kilmarnock won 3-1 with at least two games in hand.
West Ham’s goalless Premier League draw with Brighton isn’t much to write home about, so we’ll leave it at that.
And after Lee Johnson notched his second sack of the season, Charlie Adam is the new man in charge at Fleetwood Town.
STILL ABOUT MORE?
“Any club that can weigh up all the facts and still decide that Rooney is the answer: this is exactly the kind of club that Rooney should avoid like the plague.” This is Barney Ronay on the state of Wayne-22.
Birmingham supporters are falling for the typical new owner tropes, sighs Graham Ruthven.
Which manager has the worst winning percentage in a tenure? The Knowledge knows.
Four years after the invasion of Iraq, the Lions of Mesopotamia – considered one of the greatest stories about sports dogs – won their first Asian Cup. Hassanin Mubarak casts his mind back to 2007.
For all your January window needs, bookmark these transition interactives for men and women.
And although it’s not football, we’d highly recommend this photo essay of fancy dress by the ‘arrers.
MEMORY LANE
It’s September 1982 and Kuddly Ken Bates is checking out the Subbuteo themed party cake during a social event at Stamford Bridge. We’re not sure the decorative icing was there to flick about with, mind.
LÚUUUUUUUUKE
