by The very body confident tourist recently angered Mallorcans – and the attention of the international press – when he wandered the streets of Palma wearing only a pair of bare green speedos. It wasn’t the choice of swimwear per se that he got so wrong, but the etiquette of the place.
“Do your research on what’s acceptable,” says creative fashion consultant Carlotta Constant, who fronted the Nike Swimwear SS24 campaign. “Act as people in town would expect. In some Spanish towns, you can go to the store in a bikini, in other places, it is seen as something absurdly rude.”
Green Speedo Man isn’t the first to embrace the ill-fitting holiday outfit – there’s something about jet-setting that brings out the worst in people’s wardrobes. T-shirts with vulgar slogans, bikinis in relaxed restaurants and – gasp – the lonely “mandal” with socks have been known to appear. Those holiday-only outfits aren’t just bad for the eyes, they’re also bad for the environment. Britain is very much into fast fashion – and suitcases full of new clothes are part of the problem.
However, if you’re someone who wears an office suit (or wears pajamas in the home office), that means you have the opportunity to wear something more exciting and embrace who you want to be. How can you find the perfect balance, and avoid the local population in the process? Below, experts give their advice on what to wear – and what not to wear – on holiday.
On the plane – how to improve your chances of an upgrade
Get this bit wrong and your trip could end before it begins. Airlines reserve the right to deny boarding to passengers whose clothing is deemed inappropriate.
“Airline staff are often responsible for what an airline deems revealing or offensive, which means dress code enforcement can be inconsistent,” says former staff member Jay Robert, who runs a social media community airline A Fly Guy’s Cabin Crew Lounge. . “Clothing that does not cover sensitive body parts and clothing with offensive words, slurs or symbols are usually the main offenders.”
Will you go the other way and upgrade with a Panama hat and linen suit (or designer sunglasses and high heels)? In an age of athleisure, even those in First Class are more likely to sport tracksuits – but dressing well can have its benefits.
“When I worked as a gate agent, I would pick older passengers first and the people who looked the rest of the way on my list to get a First Class upgrade,” says Robert. “I remember a woman who was dressed to impress – she really stood out. I got a call from operations to move one passenger to First Class, so I called her to the podium, gave her a First Class boarding pass, and said, ‘I’m sorry, your outfit is too -good for the economy’,” he added. reveals.
Some savvy flyers embrace more practical airline dressing strategies, including one Phil Lisle who, according to Wales Online, wore his entire holiday wardrobe on a flight from Benidorm to Bristol to avoid an extra baggage fee. Lloyd Griffiths (one half of the travel blogging duo Hand Luggage Only, along with Yaya Onalaja-Aliu) also takes a sensible approach. “I am someone who dribbles down themselves on every flight, so I always wear black on a plane,” he says.
As air travel becomes less luxurious, keeping cozy should also be a priority. “I’d invest in loungewear,” says second-hand fashion stylist Jen Graham. “Try a brand called Pantee. I’ve had one of the tracksuits for six months and it’s not worn.”
On a city break – how not to look like a tourist
Green Speedo Man may have been taken in Mallorca, but he was strolling the streets of Palma – the city’s capital. Do that in London and you’d provoke a similar reaction. “We have dress codes in the UK too. You wouldn’t show up to your club in shorts, singlets and trainers,” says Onalaja-Aliu. “When some people travel, they don’t realize that they are guests. Everyone is expected to be comfortable with what everyone should be comfortable with.”
He sees the city as a place where you should dress to impress. “I like the idea of walking around and people saying, ‘Ooo, what’s on that person?’. Choose at least one item (shoes, trousers or shirt) that looks good and stands out.”
The duo also recommends packing signature scents (“not the ones you’ll find in Duty Free”). Onalaja-Aliu’s secret weapon was the now-discontinued Open Sky by Byredo, a spicy blend with notes of pomelo, cannabis and Palo Santo.
“I don’t catch you. When we were in New York, some people ran up to our taxi asking ‘What are you wearing? What perfume is this?’ over one day,” he says.
Looking to step up your sartorial game with some extra special accessories? Your friend is vintage, says Graham. “I’d love to do a TV show where I show people in the street a Windsor taster (from the 1970s, I think), then one from a fast fashion brand that copies it. The quality, the cut, the material, the finishes – you’d feel like a million dollars in the 1970s. And that fast fashion would go into the washing machine, then the shoulder pads would move, there would be threads everywhere, the buttons would come off.”
One final piece of advice: tone it down if you don’t want to look like a tourist, says Marissa Cox, author Parisienne practicing. In Paris, that means avoiding “overdone outfits with lots of accessories. All the stereotypical Parisian pieces together at once – beret, striped top, trench coat and ballerinas. Also too much make-up and too coiffed hair. High heels during the day, or heels that you have trouble walking in (go for block heels if you want to wear heels).
Is there anything Parisians would never wear? “Flip-flops (especially the plastic kind) and crocs are usually a no-no, as are leggings and jogging bottoms,” says Cox.
At the beach – how to avoid a fine
The Office of Foreign, Commonwealth and Development has official travel advice for tourists visiting Spain who want to wear hardly any: “In some parts of Spain, it is illegal to be on the street in nothing but a bikini or to wear swimming trunks. It is also illegal in some areas of Spain to be naked. You could be fined if you are caught wearing a bathing suit on the seafront promenade or in the streets nearby.”
Bikinis are also banned elsewhere in Europe. In 2022, the mayor of Sorrento banned swimwear and shirtlessness on its streets, and the same rules apply in Venice.
To cover the best way, take a linen. And don’t worry about it being crammed in your suitcase. “I always tell people not to be afraid of linen creases,” says Constant. “One of those things that nobody really knows is that the more wrinkles there are in the linen, the more expensive it is going to be.”
Tourists may be tripped up by local customs, but so will cheap, see-through swimwear. Graham’s advice is to buy quality, sustainable pieces. “I find swimwear on Vinted because you can buy it ‘new with tags’. Sustainable swimwear brands tend to be pricier but you don’t need just one bikini a day. Take a few and mix and match different tops and bottoms on different days,” she says.
Is there ever a case of swimwear off the beach? Constant thinks so. “It can be so versatile, which is what you want from your holiday wardrobe,” she says. “You want to pack light and have a capsule wardrobe to work with. Go for the same color so you can incorporate your swimwear into everyday looks. Pack accessories, then you can pair swimwear with a see-through skirt and top and big chunky jewelery at a beach club.”
Meanwhile, the biggest fashion faux pas on the sand according to both Constant and Griffith is forgetting the SPF. “Burn in 10 seconds. So I’m always covered up, under an umbrella, wearing Factor 50 and a blanket over my legs,” says Griffiths.
Avoid the fashion police this holiday
Posh hotels
Check before you travel to a five star. It may be balmy in the Caribbean, but men could be in trouble if they’ve only packed shorts: many hotel restaurants require trousers in the evening. Meanwhile, trainers, t-shirts and shorts are banned in the American Bar at Gleneagles. And you’ll need a jacket and tie to take afternoon tea in the Palm Court at The Ritz.
Cruise ships
Trousers are de rigueur in some cruise ship restaurants (although you can get away with ‘smart tailored shorts’ at some venues on P&O ships and the more casual Disney ones accept nothing but swimwear and tank tops). You’ll also need a dress or jacket and tie for ‘Black Tie’ nights – unless you’re on the Virgin Tour, where you can wear whatever you want, and even attend a ‘pajama party’ in night clothes.
Theme parks
Do you want to return to childhood by dressing up as your favorite Disney character? Forget it: Disneyland prohibits costumes for anyone over the age of 14. Obscene slogans and inappropriate tattoos are also visible, along with garments that show “too much skin”.
Active wear
Can you practice and fashion on vacation?
It’s finally time to look back on that C&A school ski outfit with nostalgia: color is back in a big way. Onalaja-Aliu prefers a one-piece in colors most reminiscent of snow, while Constant recommends the Perfect Moment brand, known for its 1970s form-inspired clothing in red, white and blue.
For those who want to blend in, Constant recommends Burton. “It’s a brand of snowwear that’s a little more fun. It is comfortable and oversized. It looks great on everyone”.
Meanwhile, the key to looking good while walking is to always be comfortable. In some cases, wearing the wrong clothes can be dangerous, which may explain the ban on flip-flops and open footwear on Italy’s Cinque Terre hiking trails.
The hottest brands in the activewear game right now? Normal Studios pass for cycling, Patagonia and Arc’teryx for the outdoors.
