by When Robert Winters was single back in 2017, he used artificial intelligence to find more matches on Tinder. He downloaded AI software that automatically swiped on profiles and started conversations for him, leading to hundreds of dating prospects. Not long after, Tinder banned him.
“Before the AI-Tinder hack I implemented, there were maybe a dozen matches [over] a few days,” he said, “The difference is day and night.”
That program is much smarter than the AI tools most people would use to find a date. However, the 39-year-old digital design strategist from Belgium says that even simple AI aids can be optimized online.
Last year, Winters began using AI to generate photos of himself for his dating profile.
During that same period, several new AI-powered dating tools came out. They can help improve users’ dating profiles, help with texting or even go on “first dates” for people. But their release has sparked a debate over the ethics of their use.
“There’s this question: to what extent should we let people use AI to represent themselves?” said Liesel Sharabi, dating app researcher and associate professor at Arizona State University.
“When does that become attractive, and when does it become helpful?”
Improving dating profile
Among other features, a number of websites and phone apps say they can help people create a better understanding of dating apps. These types of AI services will:
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Write your biography
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Write your prompt answers
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Identify your best pictures
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Create AI-generated images of you
Dmitri Mirakyan is the co-founder of YourMove AI, a website and app that offers an AI dating profile generator and reviewer, among other services. He says his company has written more than 500,000 profiles and his website gets about 200,000 visitors a month.
SEE | Is it wrong to use AI for dating?:
According to him, about a third of the users are young men.
He says some people use his services because they are introverted or older and unfamiliar with dating apps.
“We help these people get a foothold and dive into an online trade because it’s hard to market yourself,” Mirakyan said.
Kathryn Coduto, an online researcher and assistant professor at Boston University, said that while these tools can be useful, they can make people seem less authentic.
“When AI is used to create a profile, it doesn’t feel like you anymore. It feels like a computer trying to figure out who you are.”
Her research found that many people are hesitant to trust AI, even if there are benefits.
Lines drawn
Some apps offer users a rolodex of AI-generated openers. One shown in a TikTok ad says, “I’m not sure how to put this. I usually go for seventies, but I think I’ll settle for 10.”
Often, users can request a certain tone, from something sweet to something spicy. But developers say that regardless of style, their programs boost users’ confidence by helping them take that critical first step while educating them on ways to improve their communication skills.
Unlike using AI for profile enhancements, Coduto said AI-generated pick-up lines reflect an established practice — as many people rely on friends for help with openers.
“Is AI really different from friends when it comes to open lines?”
“Both guys and girls need help when they open up on dating apps. It is an artificial environment that is not the same in real life,” said Roman Khaves, co-founder of Rizz, an AI dating assistant. “Opening up is very nerve wracking for many users.”‘
Khaves says his app has 3.5 million users since it launched last spring.
Coduto said that men are often under much more pressure because they are “still hoping that they will send the first message or have that great opening line”.
Sometimes, pick-up lines can be unnatural or silly, but that doesn’t mean people can’t change them.
“I think there’s an argument that you can learn from AI, especially when we think about things like assembly lines.”
Messaging assistant
Apps including Rizz and YourMove AI also allow users to upload screenshots of their online conversations to an AI scanner that suggests how to respond.
Dating apps like Bumble already include tips to help people chat more easily.
These texting facilities could play a key role in bringing people together in person, which is often a major goal of online daters, said Jevan Huston, AI and dating app researcher and Hintze Law associate.
Assistive technology can relieve people’s anxiety and “allow them to cope when they wouldn’t otherwise.”
These text assistance apps are often subscription-based, and many people online say the costs are prohibitive. For example, Rizz offers a three-day free trial, but a one-week subscription costs $9.99, and a year costs $99.99.
Regardless, say a user finally gives the date they were expecting. Some may still be in a Catch-22.
“AI is not going to help you have that real conversation,” Coduto said.
“If you’re just communicating through AI or actually being assisted by AI, I definitely think that could be a form of catfishing.”
In defense of these types of services, Huston said people often present themselves differently online, whether on social media or dating apps.
Another point of debate concerns disclosure. Users will have to decide if, how and when to tell a date about the use of AI in the conversation.
“It’s really important to start on an honest foot,” Coduto said.
Mirakyan said that people using his chat assistant should be “as transparent as people with a prosthetic leg should be transparent about the fact that they are using a prosthetic leg to walk”.
“I don’t think anyone should have any obligation to reveal that they are an introvert or, for example, that they are drinking beer to overcome the fact that they are introverted and want to be more social.”
Another issue is that uploaded screenshots capture a two-way conversation, so the other person may not know that their conversations are being captured, shared and possibly stored by a third party.
Mirakyan and Khaves said their technology does not save people’s information and only extracts and analyzes the text in conversations.
AI goes on dates for you
Several companies are easing people’s dating fatigue by creating AI-simulated blind dates.
One such company is Volar Dating, which launched in the US earlier this year. In a short onboarding process, users tell the chatbot about themselves – their age, location, hobbies.
Then, using AI, the bot simulates a first date between two people.
CBC testing found that the AI sometimes extrapolates information to make new talking points that may not be true, such as telling an avid reader to read a certain book when they haven’t.
Once matched, users can then decide if they want to send a message request to talk to the other person.
“AI could be used to reduce the amount of people swiping on dating apps,” said Sharabi, from Arizona State University. “It’s a little bit different from how we approach dating apps now.”
Date of AI
Last year, Replika, one of the leading AI chatbot companion companies, launched Blush, an app exclusively for AI dating.
It acts as a dating app, but the people aren’t real – they’re AI personalities, each with their own background.
Omri Gillath, a professor of social psychology at the University of Kansas, says that these relationships, which he calls parasocial, are not healthy in the long term.
But in the short term, he says, they could create a safe space for some people to express their attachment needs.
“That being said, as a society, we have to ask ourselves, is that the solution?”
On its website, Blush says its app allows people to go to work in a controlled environment, and then apply those lessons in the real world, something Gillath is skeptical about.
He pointed out that Blush and other similar programs include anime and cute characters that people can relate to.
“Is that how you practice for real life, or is this just your way of fulfilling your preferences?”
Like the other AI dating apps, there is still little conclusive data on the effects of these products on human behavior.
He said one thing is clear: “The further away you get from face-to-face, personal, human contact, the further you are getting from what we evolved to do and evolve to be.”
Huston says that regardless of people’s position on close relationships with AI, people should consider that there is an epidemic of loneliness in many societies.
“If it can help with loneliness and provide, whether it’s a partnership, a companionship, someone to listen to … I think that’s a value and something that shouldn’t be ignored.”
Do these apps work?
While success can be measured in a variety of ways, it’s hard to know what it would look like with AI apps, because there isn’t much research and not much is public, Coduto said.
Anecdotally, Mirakyan of the YourMove AI app says he’s heard success stories from users.
“Many people have told me that they have found a relationship through it [using conversation tools],” he said.
“I’m going to be responsible for at least a few kids at this point.”
Meanwhile, Winters says technology provides a form of skills training in a world that has moved online and away from spontaneous personal interactions, especially for men.
He is no longer on the dating market. He met his girlfriend in person at an after-work event.
This is part of CBC News Social’s dating series, which explores the realities of being single and dating in Canada today.
