by hello dear,
I’ve been obsessed with makeup and beauty products for years and I’ve read a lot (and a lot of TikToks) about how a beauty routine can be a form of meditation or mindfulness. I felt that way for a long time.
Recently, I realize that even when I do my relaxing eight-step skincare ritual every night and have my little mental health morningup with makeup and coffee – “girl therapy” – I don’t feel calm or sane most of the time. (Not in a “treat-seeking” way, but in a general malaise way.) Am I doing it wrong? Do you think that makeup can ever be a therapeutic practice or a tool of care?
– Therapy Girl is not working
The line between the beauty and wellness industries has blurred to the point of non-existence. It is from this place of anything that we get the concept of “makeup as meditation”. Maybe it’s the beauty industry’s attempt to cash in on mindfulness, or maybe it’s the industry’s attempt to sabotage it mentally, lest customers rise above the beauty culture’s brainwashing.
Related: Ask Ugly: I’m addicted to lip balm – but it doesn’t work. What is a better alternative?
Whatever the origin, it’s everywhere now. See: How to turn your beauty routine into a meditation session, How applying makeup can act as a built-in form of daily meditation, or “Makeupfulness” is where makeup and mindfulness combine.
Makeupfulness. MAKEUPFULNESS? I’m not surprised this isn’t working for you, Girl Therapy.
In one case, meditation is a search for the unconditioned self, while beauty products, in modern contexts, are often tools of the conditioned self. When you “reflect” by looking in the mirror, hyperfocusing on your hyperpigmentation and covering it up with concealer, you are basically acting on your social conditioning – and methodical internalization of beauty standards.
I’m also not sure that “living” is filled by the inclusion of any stress relief. The idea seems plausible at first if the slow, deliberate application of blush and contour and the deep breathing calms the nervous system; there are several types of thought at the heart of the sense of touch.
However, the point of such methods is to feel into the body as it is, without changing the body to appear as it is not. And while “pleasant touch” (a hug, a handshake) has been shown to calm the nervous system, other types of touch may have the opposite effect. In The Body’s Edge, medical ethicist Dr. Marc Lappé points out that traditional methods of meditation encourage stillness, such as “overskin [skin] motivation can be a barrier to healthy psychological functioning”.
My personal takeaway from all of that? The physical stimulation of so-called “makeup as meditation” probably negates the benefits of traditional meditation – a practice meant to center your spirit, not even your skin tone.
I don’t mean to be an absolutist here. Sometimes makeup yes pure, divine, artistic expression of oneself, and beautiful. It is not thoughtshowever, and I think that both devalues the spiritual practice of meditation.
As you might have suspected, obsessively applying it isn’t the mental ritual that social media has become.
“Rituals are embodied processes,” wrote philosopher Byung-Chul Han in The Disappearance of Rituals, and the routine of instagrammed care is more like a process of disembodiment: the body’s natural oils are washed away and replaced by moisturizers. Beneficial bacteria are killed with benzoyl peroxide and restored with probiotics. Epidermis are thinned with acids and restored with peptide creams.
These products add to the pressure consumers feel to meet inhuman beauty standards (ageless faces! hairless bodies!). This relentless pressure can manifest as stress, and stress can manifest as – conveniently for the market – inflamed, irritated, sensitive skin. This can make you feel like you need more products, and then feel more stressed, forever and ever, amen.
You mention that people call this “girl therapy”, but I’d say it’s more likely a way to do that travelling therapy.
You get it. You are living! You are exfoliated and anxious; you don’t need professional help but you just want to feel better. I’ve been there myself, and I know exactly what you want. So you do: mindfulness.
My favorite definition of mindfulness comes from Deepak Chopra, who once defined it as “being aware of who you are and what you are doing at any given moment. It is the opposite of acting out of habit, old conditioning and automatic reflexes. You are no longer a brain puppet responding.”
Mindfulness is awareness of purpose. It’s observation without judgment. It is immersing yourself in the present. It’s also simpler and cheaper than the beauty and wellness industries would have you believe.
First, I recommend researching the origins of mindfulness in Buddhism and Ayurveda to see which practices speak to you. Some solid options for beginners: meditation (sans concealer), mantra work, deep breathing, gratitude journaling. They have been shown to soothe the nervous system and calm the mind; none will cost you money.
Related: Ask Ugly: I’m getting ads for beauty products for my baby. Babies don’t need skin care – do they?
You say your makeup and skin care routines aren’t making you feel better, Therapy Girl, and yet you feel compelled to complete them anyway. Awareness can help with that too. One of my favorite mindfulness exercises involves taking a basic beauty norm, stripping away the marketing language (the lie), and redefining it for myself in simple terms (the truth).
When I’m careful and aware, a whitehead is no longer an ugly, worrisome disaster that I have to wipe away immediately with an antibacterial solution (a lie) but a 1mm-long manifestation of a natural immune response that will resolve itself in a few days (the truth).
Being careful and aware, products and recipes that promise eternal youth are no longer an essential part of skin care (a lie) but a fruitless attempt at skin control (the truth).
When I’m mindful and aware, makeup is no longer something I wear “for myself” (a lie) but something I wear to relieve the societal pressure to have perfect skin, full brows and fluffy lashes (my truth, although not. you need).
Keeping up with your beauty habits will make it easier to separate it from the ones that aren’t contributing to your life.
You also ask if makeup or skin care can be part of a mental practice. Personally, I don’t think so – at least not when it’s in the service of over-consumption or seemingly oppressive ideals. Yes is certain skin care practices that may be good for you and support your overall health (wearing a sunscreen, for example), but I wouldn’t call them part of a “malnutrition” routine any more than I would call a bowel movement daily (also). you are good) as part of a mindfulness routine.
Here’s a fun twist, though: meditation, deep breathing and gratitude journaling have been shown to strengthen the skin’s barrier by reducing trans-epidermal water loss, which improves the skin’s ability to protect you.
So, while mindfulness is not a moisturizer, mindfulness is, technically, a moisturizer.
